She started crying. The supervisors saw us and told me and my friends to bring her the nurse and go to our teacher, Ms Tonner. She was wearing a plain dull yellow t-shirt with black tights. She walked out the classroom like a giant. Oh, those big heavy steps she took. Ms Tonner asked the victim what happened and she said I kicked her. I can’t believe she said that, it wasn’t true. I told Ms Tonner, who was staring at me with her cold small eyes and her furrowed eyebrows, that my friend Gigi and I was behind her, Gigi kicked her lightly for fun, I didn’t. “Why should I believe in you? Why shouldn’t I believe in Juvina? The one who is hurt.” I was so stunned, I couldn’t imagine a teacher saying that to their students. I went into the classroom, sat down and started crying, that statement had hurt me alot. The anger inside my body was boiling, I felt like arguing and talking back to her. Wan Meng who saw the whole thing happened reassured me and told Juvina to come and apologize. I forgave her because she didn’t do anything wrong, It was Ms Tonner.
Ever since the start of the year, she always thought of me as the troublemaker. From going to another class early to not waiting for others to fighting with classmates. She was the only teacher and also the only times I would get trouble with.
Ms Tonner came in, flicking her blond hair, with a jacket draped over her shoulders while shouting at everyone to get back to their normal classes. She looked as fat as a pig and wouldn’t walk in normal pace.
I told my mum about what happened after I came home that night, I didn’t stop crying until my mum comforted me. My brain could only focus on two things, anger and revenge.
Then came parents meeting night, another excuse for Ms Tonner to say how troublesome I had been. That night came fast, first me showing my mum the things I am learning in school then it was time for her to talk to the teacher. She had her usual clothing but with a jacket. She smiled nicely at my mum when we came in, while looking at my report and adding fake compliments to it, but it looked as if she was giving me an evil look. I went outside for the second half of the meeting, but I could hear everything from outside. From homework, to math, to PE, but there was only one topic I was interested in, the one about me and the fight. My mum wasn’t usually a supportive person, but today, she seemed to change. My mum told Ms Tonner that I wasn’t involved in the fight. Ms Tonner didn’t fight back as she usually would if I were talking to her. There was still one thing that wouldn’t click in place, the question why Ms Tonner only picked on specific people in the class.
Even though my mum told her the truth and she might have believed it, there was still the thought of revenge running through my mind. I was actually wondering if she only treated the parents with respect, and also the students who gave her lots of treats and presents. Like when I told her I was planning to come to Singapore and needed a recommendation letter, she said “You NEVER finish your homework, how can I write your letter compare to someone who always completes their homework.” I forgot to do my homework once that week and didn’t finish a question the next day.
On the first day of school in Singapore, the first thing I noticed was the teachers, they were different from the teachers I had in my old school. They were all friendly and were welcoming all the students as we came in. When I went home that day, I couldn’t wait to tell my mum. I took her through the day bit by bit, from meeting my amazing teacher to all the new subjects that were there in the school. She told me to forget the past and enjoy the present, but that just got me wanting to take my revenge on Ms Tonner again. I opened my laptop and opened my gmail account. I wrote her an e-mail. Ideas were flooding through my head like a raging river, should I write how I hated her and wanted her to apologize or should I explain to her how she mentally hurted me. I started my e-mail like this:
Dear Ms Tonner:
I was a student who you blamed and accused to, me and my friends are emailing the principal to get you FIRED. I hope you know what I’m talking about.
I was ready to press the “enter” button when I suddenly stopped myself. I didn’t know what was happening or what caused me to stop myself, but I couldn’t do it. It was like half my brain telling me to take revenge and the other half of my brain telling me to not get revenge and calm down.
I agreed with my second half of my brain, maybe taking revenge might even make matters worst and calming down and taking a deep breath might actually help me.
I realised that making decisions when in anger was not the best idea, calming down and thinking about the situation might change my mind. However, when I tried it out, it was not as easy as I thought, but now that I think about it, I realised that even though making decisions when you’re angry is not the best idea, that is usually what happens that cause conflicts. I also realised that when things are unfair, it is not good to leave it and ignore it and let it boil in your heart, it is best to find a solution to that as soon as possible.
Glad you chose this space to share your story. Looks like you have a knack for blogging. Looking forward to your posts.ReplyDelete